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Leaving the smoking battlefield

Not so early, they pronounced me a smoker. Why now, when smoke has gone through me for several years? I don’t know, I’m probably addicted due to their habits, the official carrier of the first vice.

A very ugly feeling from which you run away from reality with the following thought: “I’m not really a smoker, now I can not smoke a month.” Why only a month? I still don’t doubt my power of will but think on the battlefield how difficult it is to defeat you and with what?

Your character

I do all the legal drugs, but with these other two I keep the distance, we drink coffee or beer and that’s all. I take caffeine only when I feel insufficient amount of sleep, and alcohol is not lacking I wouldn’t think of it after countless days of abstinence.

Only a cigarette, a hi-tech temptress approaching and nestling, doesn’t care if I have time and whether I want her, as a prostitute. Feeling like home with me, warns me when she needs attention. Jealous of all my ignorance, calls me louder and stronger as time passes. The compromise is all Greek to her.

Your outfit

Always dressed in a white shirt, you still cannot hide all your blackness. So imposing and slim, you seduce me to start your fire. That your smoke, imprinted with my lungs, reminds me of the dirty ritual, dirty, disgusting little habit. With the an excuse of stress relief, I keep being tempted by you.

Comparison

You annoy me! You give me the envy of you, as an obsession. As if I were taking antidepressants, as a medicine I had to have, like an asthmatic inhaler, a pendant or a pet without legs. Besides, you set me the dose and time I’ll spend by dosing, these 5 minutes are yours.

And every other twin sister, is nothing better than you. Just a pale copy, with which I’m out of habit. All of your other partners have the same problem as me. Everyone who can’t deal with boredom and idleness will only then return to you.

Pulp fiction

I remembered something to show you how nasty you are. Even if you’re throwned out from the movies, big time. You’re not a modern, short-lived life, you’re just not my type.

I want away from you, your immorality does not wash. You remind me of Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction. Girl, you will be alone soon, very soon.

Slaviša Ilić

Napuštanje bojnog polja pušenja

Ne tako rano, prozvaše me pušačem. Zašto baš sada, kada dim prolazi kroz mene već nekoliko godina? Ne znam, valjda sam iz njihove navike sada ovisnik, zvanično nosilac prvog poroka.

Jako ružan osjećaj od kojeg se pribjegava od stvarnosti sa sljedećom mišlju: “Nisam ja zaista pušač, evo sada mogu da ne pušim mjesec dana”. Zašto samo mjesec? Ja i dalje ne sumnjam u svoju snagu volje, ali razmišljam na bojnom polju koliko je zaista teško pobijediti te i čime?

Tvoj karakter

Kunzumiram sve legalne droge, ali sa ove druge dvije držim distancu, popijemo kafu ili pivo i to je sve. Kofein uzimam samo kad osjetim nedovoljnu količinu sna, a alkohol mi ne nedostaje nit bih pomislio na njega posle nebrojeno dana apstinencije. Samo mi se cigareta, hi-tech zavodnica približi i priljubi, ne zanima je da li imam vremena i da li je želim, kao prostitutka. Osjeća se uz mene kao kod kuće, upozorava me kad joj treba pažnja, Ljubomorna na svo moje ignorisanje, zove me sve glasnije i jače kako vrijeme prolazi. Kompromis je za nju špansko selo.

Tvoja odora

Obučena uvijek u bijelu košulju, ipak ne uspijevaš sakriti svu svoju crninu. Tako impozantna i vitka, zavodiš me da pokrenem vatru tvoju. Taj dim tvoj, pečatiran mojim plućima, podsjeća me na prljavi ritual, na prljavu, odvratnu malu naviku. Sa izgovorom olakšanja od stresa, neprestano me iskušavaš.

Poređenje

Nerviraš me! Doziraš mi zavist za tobom, kao opsesija. Kao da uzimam antidepresive, kao lijek koji moram imati uz sebe, kao asmatična pumpica, privjesak ili ljubimac bez nogu si mi. Osim toga, određuješ mi dozu i vrijeme koje ću potrošiti doziranjem, tih 5 minuta je tvoje. I svaka druga tvoja bliznakinja, ništa nije bolja od tebe. Samo blijeda kopija, sa kojima budem iz navike. A i svi drugi tvoji partneri imaju isti problem kao ja. Svi koji ne podnose dosadu i bespoličarenje, samo će se tada vratiti tebi.

Fikcija pulpe (Pulp fiction)

Sjetih se nečega, kako bih ti pokazao koliko si gadna. Čak te i iz filmova u velikoj dozi izbacuju. Nisi nimalo moderna, kratkog si života, jednostavno nisi moj tip.

Želim podalje od tebe, tvoj nemoral se ne pere. Mogla bi jedno da budeš Uma Thurman u Pulp Fiction. Djevojko, bićeš sama uskoro, veoma uskoro.

Slaviša Ilić

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